Poker Night at the Bases
by SilverEnderwolf
Summary: Every week, two of the top killers from each team get together to play Texas Hold-em. But when BLU Medic Morgan (my OC) is dealing, hilarity ensues. Rated T for the small amount of language, amongst other things.


**Inspired by my friend Skymin's struggles while playing Poker Night at the Inventory and a wish for more TF2 characters to play against, I wrote this. This is my first crossover story and I'm very proud of it. ^U^ Why am I proud of it? BECAUSE IT'S ALSO THE FIRST _PKATI/TF2 _CROSSOVER FANFICTION! A one shot series of drabbles, using every class. -grin-**

**My OC is dealing in this story.**

**~~~Poker Night at the Bases~~~**

Morgan stood at the table, shuffling a deck of cards absentmindedly as she watched the door for the mercenaries she would be dealing for/with tonight. It was Poker Night at the BLU's base, and she was expecting the two top killers that week from each team. Two REDs, two BLUs. BLU's Medic already knew who to expect from her team. Spy and Soldier. The rivalry for leadership over the BLU mercs. led to a contest to see who could kill the most REDs that week. Making them the top killers from BLU for tonight's game. Spy won anyway, that made Soldier so mad he loudly declared he was going to beat Spy tonight.

_WHOOSH!_

BLU Spy uncloaked at the table, smiling at the Medic who jumped when she saw him. "You would think I would get used to you uncloaking out of nowhere," she muttered in that British accent of her's, "But no, you always seem to shorten my life by another few months every time."

The door opened, with RED Demoman stumbling drunkenly into the room. Morgan shook her head, "Tavish, I thought I told you to not get drunk before coming in here." She rolled her eyes, Spy unhelpfully chirping, "Save your breath mademoiselle, 'e _never _listens."

_BANG!_

RED Heavy knocked the door off its hinges, and it flew across the room, hitting Tavish on its way to the poker table. The door (and Tavish) swept over the table, poker chips flying everywhere. Morgan sighed, facepalming so hard she stumbled back into BLU Soldier, who had just arrived. She glared up at him with stormy blue-green eyes. In a voice that sounded creepily similar to the announcer's, she said, "You're late."

Jane Doe snorted, "I'M NOT LATE, IT'S UN-AMERICAN!"

Morgan rolled her eyes, "Well, your un-american arse is late. Your punishment is to pick up the poker chips that Tavish has generously scattered all the floor."

Jane raised an eyebrow, "EXCUSE ME? ARE YOU TELLING ME WHAT TO DO? WHO DIED AND MADE _YOU_ THE PRESIDENT? I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE ORDERS FROM Y-"

Morgan bared her unusually sharp fangs, "NOW!"

Jane scrambled to the floor, hurriedly picking up the chips. Morgan smirked, then pointed at RED Heavy, "You! Organize them!" Then she pointed to Tavish, who was brushing wooden splinters off his red plaid kilt. "And you! Help Jane! Hurry up, I don't think you want to be here all night!"

"WHAT ABOUT SPY?" Jane whined, scooping up handfuls of chips and dumping them on the table, where Heavy was busy stacking them in the shape of the Russian flag, blue chips making up the hammer, white chips making up the sickle. Morgan smiled at Spy and he smiled back, "Spy was here early, he did nothing to contribute to the mess on the floor and he is sitting patiently, waiting for the game to start...he will be rewarded with..." Morgan pulled a large, rainbow-striped lollipop (the kind you find at the circus or a fair) from her lab coat, "THIS!"

Spy clapped his gloved hands, smiling like a little kid at the circus. He took the lollipop, eagerly licking so no one would attempt to take it. Because who wants a lollipop with Spy spit on it?

"'ey, no fair," Tavish complained, "Ye can't pick favorites, it's cheatin'."

The BLU Medic smiled smugly, "No one cares."

~~~15 minutes later~~~

Morgan dealt the cards and chips, then proceeded to walk around the table, producing a riding-crop taser from her lab coat. She would only use it if someone was caught cheating. It was specially made by BLUs Engineer. You hit someone with it, they get to deal with the pleasure of being electrocuted AND the sting of the crop. It was a great deal of fun to watch.

BLU Spy was notorious for cheating, a slip of the hand and he'd have the ace he needed to complete his Royal Flush. BLU Medic was often frustrated with herself because he was so quick and sly that she couldn't catch him doing it. She was determined to watch him, only him, this time. Her eyes never let his hands, and when he went into his jacket, she froze. Leaning over the table, gripping the table so hard her knuckles were white, she glared at him. His eyes looked up from his hand, meeting hers. He smiled, pulling out his disguise kit. He placed his hand face down on the table, pulling out a cigarette and putting it between his lips, eyes never leaving hers. The disguise kit went back into its place and a lighter was pulled out.

_Flick!_

_ZAP!_

The riding-crop taser burnt the cigarette to ashes before Spy had a chance to light it. The ashes fell on his hand, which he stared at like he couldn't comprehend what had just happened. He looked up sharply, eyes narrowing dangerously, "What was _zhat _for mademoiselle? I didn't do anyzhing!"

Mademoiselle tapped the now non-electrical riding-crop against her chin, smiling thoughtfully. "No, but your smile was annoying me."

Spy rolled his eyes, "Oh please." He tried to ignore the not-so-well-stifled giggling from the three other members of the Peanut Gallery Committee. Heavy put down his hand, a straight flush of 5, 4, 3, 2 & Ace, all clubs. "I win," he said gleefully going for the mountain of weapons and chips in the middle. "Oh no, ye don't," Tavish stopped him showing his straight flush of 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, all hearts. "I believe _I _win."

"YOU LADIES ARE BOTH WRONG!" Jane yelled, showing his straight flush of diamonds, "I WIN!"

"Correction," Spy intervened smoothly, picking up his Royal Flush of spades for everyone to see, "I 'ave a Royal Flush...So I win."

~~~Next Poker Night at RED's Base~~~

RED Scout bolted into the room, five minutes early for the first time ever on poker night. "FUCK YEAH!" he shouted, punching the air, "I'M THE FIRST ONE HERE-ERE, I'M THE FIRST ONE HERE-ERE!" he sung, one-man line dancing around the room. He stopped when he heard multiple clicking sounds, each accompanied by small flashes of light. He turned around quickly, and to his horror, there stood BLU Medic, holding a small digital camera and smirking evilly. She eyed the newly taken pictures, humming to herself before muttering, "Those are going on the end of the year slide-show before summer..."

"Oh God!" Scout cried in horror, dropping to his knees in front of her, "OhmyGod, please no! You have no idea how long it took me to build up the rep I have here! Please, please don't show anyone those pictures!" He clasped his hands together, begging like a sinner to Jesus. Morgan looked down at him, biting her lip as she pretended to consider it. "Hm, only if you win tonight's game fair and square, no cheating."

"Aw, what? Are you kiddin'?" RED Scout stood, crossing his arms over his chest, "I never cheat. Snipes is the one who cheats!"

"Correction, mate," RED Sniper said from where he stood behind the BLU Medic, "Yer so busy flirtin' with this sheila that ya let yer guard down an' everyone c'n see yer cards." He stepped around Morgan and sauntered to the table, "It's no wonder ya have to cheat t' make a comeback and win the game."

Scout pouted, sitting on the floor in defiance. That was about the moment that BLU Pyro chose to skip into the room, causing him to trip over the annoying RED kid on the floor, flip across the room and land on the table, poker chips flying every which way. Morgan sighed, _Every time_, she thought, _someone does something to make that happen every time. _

Using some crazy kind of super human strength, BLU Medic picked up the Scout and tossed him in the general direction of the poker table. He flew towards the Pyro, hitting him so hard that Scout knocked him off the table, scattering more chips on the floor. BLU Engineer walked in, stared dumbfoundedly at the scene for a moment, then turned around and walked back out. _Oh well_, he thought, _there was always next week to play Texas Hold-em._

BLU Medic didn't even notice him. "Pick up the chips, Scout," she said in a super creepy sweet voice that made him shudder in disturbed fear. He hurried to pick them up, it was easier than talking back to her.

~~~10 minutes later~~~

Scout was forced down on the table, hands behind his back so that he couldn't use them to fend off the she-demon behind him. Sniper was no help and the BLU Pyro was just sitting on the floor making a house of cards. "Tsk, tsk, Scout," that super creepy sweet voice breathily whispered in his ear, "That wasn't a very smart move was it? Thought you could get away with cheating just because I don't have my riding crop with me?"

She smacked his ass, earning a whimper from the Scout as he tried to squirm free. "Ah, ah, ah. Don't move, the punishment would just be worse for you."

She pulled him off the table, dragging him over to the conveniently placed laptop that was charging next to the wall. She plugged her camera into the laptop, uploading the pictures of Scout dancing onto it. She quickly attached them to a previously saved draft and went to click the send all button. Scout's eyes widened so that you could see white all around his hazel irises. This was worse than Spy hijacking his mic and broadcasting to the _whole _team that rainbows made him cry. "No please! Please don't send it, I'll do ANYTHING!" he begged.

She smirked, "Anything?"

He seemed hesitant now, but he nodded.

~~~3 minutes later~~~

Scout was standing on the poker table in a frilly, pink can-can dress doing...well, the Can-Can. Pyro was standing beside Medic, humming the tune as loud as he could. Morgan had pulled out her camera again, and was _videotaping_ the scene, just barely holding in her laughter. Sniper coughed, excusing himself himself for a smoke break – really, he just wanted to get out of the room before he did something he'd regret. Scout's face was a bright pink, perfectly matching the dress. "Hey Doc?" he asked hesitantly as he tried to kick in time with the tune, "Where's dis video goin'?"

The BLU Medic smirked, "To your mum."


End file.
